EMBRACING OUR INSIGNIFICANCE

I bow my head with folded hands, I sign off "your humble servant" but inside my heart, there is no humility. 

It is lip deep only... for now. It is a good beginning, there is a need to start somewhere. We start with words, with externals, create a space for the real humility to manifest. 

One saintly Radhakund Baba was explaining why he wears many Tulsi malas around his neck... "it is heavy, I am forced to keep my head down a bit. This is the way to live in Vraj, always looking down, offering respects to all." It is in this way that we can chant the holy name constantly. 

Trinad api sunicena... "Su-nicena" very much lower, and what is lower? Only the earth.  When you step on the earth, it stays down. The grass will rise again after you take your foot away but the earth will stay down. Su-nicena, lower than the grass, that is our position. In this way we can chant the holy name constantly. 

We need to accept our position  fully. She does better seva... may be it is true, be happy for her and just accept your insignificance.  I am insignificant so are my offerings, it is the best I can do. I pray that it makes Krishna smile as I am calling on His promise in Bhagavad Gita 9.22

ananyas cintayanto mam
ye janah paryupasate
tesam nityabhiyuktanam
yoga-ksemam vahamy aham

But those who worship Me with devotion, meditating on My transcendental form, to them I carry what they lack and preserve what they have.

Once we embrace our insignificance, once we practice humility, we open a treasure chest, the blessings to chant constantly,  Kirtaniya sada harih.  

It is the means to attain our goal to serve along side Radha's manjaris.  It is also our goal as chanting is our eternal activity, our sadhiya. 

Kirtaniya sada harih, 

gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanu-dasah

More next time, as I slowly and happily take one step at a time towards Radha and Krishna's Love and pray for the mercy of the vaisnavas without whose mercy I am lost.

Begging to remain the servant of your servants.

Vyasa puja offering

Hare Krishna
dear Srila Prabhupada, you are missed, I miss you.

My dandavats are at your feet eternally.
I had in mind of speaking about your endless compassion today. How you found a way to teach mlecchas and yavanas, of all caste and genders, about the real purpose of life. I would have also spoken about my utter lack of compassion and my inability to pass on your message effectively.

I wanted to show how you took your spiritual master's words and gently re-arrange them so we could digest his divine message with perfect organization and intelligence. This had been my meditation this year.

Lately there has been a barrage of discussions on women and their observance of stri dharma, their ability or disability to preach like their brothers..... It led my meditation astray. I asked myself, why did I join Srila Prabhupada? what was he teaching me that drew me and my life to his service? did it have anything to do with social development? or was it rather its transcendence to social affairs that attracted me. I know it was the later. Being fed up with the boredom and futility of living in the material world I looked for a change, an alternative. That change was, being able to hanker for my eternal life, my life of loving service to my eternal Best Friend, Companion, Father, Mother, Son, Husband, Lover, Best friend's Lover, my everything, Sri Krishna; all the while walking through the duration of this French Canadian young and then old, little and not so little mother's body.

At times I may even forget about my current coverings and catch a glimpse of being absorbed in Krishna alone. How refreshing are these few and far between moments!

HARE KRISHNA HARE KRISHNA
KRISHNA KRISHNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA
RAMA RAMA HARE HARE

The fuel that propells us is Jivadoya, Vaisnava seva and Nama ruchi
The vehicle is varnashram dharma
The path is the Holy Name
Destination? Suddha Nama, Suddha Bhakti and Krishna Prema

More on love

What is love? do I have love? do I give love? do I need love? In Visvanath Chakravarti Thakur's Prema Samputa verse 52, Radha says: 

“O My friend, to an eager student someone may give an abstract explanation of true love, but true love is understood only by direct experience. When one tries to analyze it, true love disappears, and when one does not try to analyze it, true love disappears again."

LOVE - Strange topic, or is it? I heard it said that Krishna consciousness is Love disguised as philosophy!

The living entity having forgotten his eternal relationship with the Lord is starving for love. Like a fish out of water, we wonder in the material world trying desperately to find happiness in a place more easily conducive to misery.

The love Krishna has for us cannot be estimated by our material senses it is beyond our understanding and certainly beyond any experience in this world. We are of that world, the spiritual world, wherein loving exchanges of a tremendous nature are constantly shared between the Lord and His devotees and between devotees as well. There is no potential for satiation in this world if we exclude God from the equation. The living entity is made of His love.

“Life is a school of love. In this school, we are not just hungry, but starving for love...
Always thinking of our beloved with genuine love brings amazing solace.
And if we truly experience deep love, forgetting the beloved who we deeply think about and care for is minimizing our own existence.
It is like death. And to not be able to reciprocate
with our beloved is also another expression of death,
especially since we are made for love. 

In this school of love, our most essential asset is full dependence on the Lord.
We want to always remember our most beloved Lord and never forget Him.”
(Spiritual warrior II – B.T.Swami)

We may try to quench this desire for love in so many ways. Some try to find that perfect love in one individual. How can any one individual replace that love that is so familiar to our soul? Are we thinking there is one person who can be our “God”? This pursuit can be compared to a form of atheism. Are we so forgetful of Krishna’s love for us, or are we thinking that one single human being can offer us something that compares.

The desire persists and will remain until the soul is finding a way to give and receive love on a spiritual level. We have the choice to push away Krishna’s love and focus on trivial pursuit of material goals but we can’t have both. The choice is ours.

Kirtaniya sada harih, 

gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanu-dasah

LESSONS FROM A TODDLER

Let's be realistic. In regards to spiritual matters, we are very much like toddlers. We try to walk, at times feeling so proud of ourselves, at times ready to give up. Toddlers fall, and try again, try again, try again... until one day, walking is natural. They don't give up.

The parent watches the child struggling, sometimes offering a hand, specially at the beginning. When Krishna gives us a hand, specially at the beginning, possibly by letting us feel His presence, it is very special mercy. Historically, both in the case of Druhva Maharaj and Narada Muni, he appeared once. Guru is there to encourage u. As we uncover our love for Radha and Krishna, it becomes our empowerment, always in the company of guru.

What if after falling the toddler was to give up? What if we gave up after a fall down? For some, a fall down may be committing nama aparadha, for others, more primal such as illicit sex or meat eating. Regardless... When a toddler falls trying to make his/her first step, do the parents condemn the child? No. Does the child give up? No.

Because the child starts again and again, and eventually walks, watching the process is even endearing to the parents.

Similarly, we should not be surprised if we are unable to walk straight and perfect on first attempt but rather we should get up and keep trying, always checking our association and avoidance of offenses, Krishna will help us. One step at a time, walking towards Radha Krishna's service and love. We need to forgive ourselves and move on being grateful for a chance to develop humility. Only after we happily embrace our insignificance can we chant the holy name constantly.

We are all weak and vulnerable to fall downs. Luckily we have sanga and mercy of vaisnava, guru and Krishna. 

There are three afflictions ready to attack us at any moment on the path of spiritual growth. They manifest in the places we live, the things we eat and the association we keep. 

I am remembering stories of sadhus who were afflicted, in spite of being fixed in their bhajan, after  taking part in a grand feast sponsored by a

prostitute who  wanted to purify her earnings. In the night following the sumptuous feast, each and every sadhu experienced nocturnal emissions. In another instance, a pious sadhu going from house to house sharing his wisdom and doing madhukari, accepted both a meal and the shelter of a Brahman's temple for the night. In the night he had an uncontrollable urge to steal the deity's costly ornaments and paraphernalia. He left the temple early in the morning before the brahman awoke and fled with the costly jewellery and 0ther paraphernalia. Once on his way, he reflected on his uncontrollable and inappropriate behaviour. Never before had he acted in such a way. Full of remorse,

he returned to the brahman's house to apologise and return the wealth. Trying to analyse what had happened along with the householder, they found out that the rice he had eaten had been stolen by the cook. This explained to both of them how the uncontrollable impetus to steal had come about and overcome him in the night. They forgave each other and embraced.

We can be so vulnerable to external influences, as we become more advanced, it appears from these stories that we can become even more sensitive to their effects. We need to be careful of different afflictions that come our way, those from eating, as in these example, the places we live, and of course the company, the association we keep. 

Rupa Goswami gives us the five main limbs of bhakti, panch anga bhakti, Nama kirtan, Bhagavat Sravan, Sadhu Sanga, Dham Vaas, Arcanam. Following these will always keep us safe. If one is unable to live in Dham, he should endeavor to make his house "dham-like" by keeping Krishna in the centre. We must be aware of these three, what we eat, where we stay and the company we keep. It is easier if we stand by each other, remind each other to stay focused, Sadhu Sanga.

Kirtaniya sada harih, 

gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanu-dasah