ATTACHMENT TO MILK... OR KRISHNA?

Recently, I have been reflecting on this question, why do I chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare?

Let me share with you the beginning of my journey with Sri Nama, from arrogance and defiance to duty, attachment and the rest…

I was going to school, catholic high school, and had been assigned to study different religious groups including the Hare Krishna’s. It was a group project and my very studious girl friends had gone to the Montreal Radha Krishna Temple set up in an old bowling alley on Park avenue. They wanted my opinion on this temple, I was trying to do as little work as possible on the project being very aloof and disinterested in life in general what to speak of a school assignment. Next to Mount Royal, a bit of nature in the center of the city, was the home of Jagannath Subhadra and Balaram and may be as many as a dozen devotees. It was very close to McGill University and walking distance to the main downtown shopping area.

Armed with the pride, arrogance and defiance of a sixteen year old ready to confront the world without fear, I visited the temple. One devotee was assigned to answer our questions (challenges). He had been living in the temple for at least 2 weeks so he was considered knowledgeable enough to tackle our questions and I must say he was just perfect, just what I/we needed. Unable to provide responses to all my demanding queries, he simply said: “why don’t you try chanting Hare Krishna? All your answers will be revealed, you see, the proof of the pudding is really in the tasting.” I started chanting, convinced that I could prove him wrong. I started chanting out of challenging arrogance, far from pure chanting yet this name is very powerful.

At one point it became duty. I am not sure when, I remember in early days enjoying my chanting and never wanting to stop, receiving glimpse of taste for the holy name. It may have been when I was raising my family, when four children and the maintenance of household affairs took their toll on my priorities, rendering my chanting to a mere status of duty, habit.

By the performance of sadhana bhakti (dutiful regulated devotional service) sometimes, out of Krishna’s causeless mercy, one will be touched by sprinkles of saffron dust from His lotus feet. As a result somehow, one cannot stop doing his/her seva although not yet immersed in pure loving feelings.

This dust creates the kind of attachment to service that is pregnant with love for Krishna, Krishna prema. Sri Caitanya mahaprabhu, embodiment of both pure love and the beloved prays:

namnam akari bahudha nija-sarva-shaktis 

tatrarpita niyamitah smarane na kalah 

etadrishi tava kripa bhagavan mamapi 

durdaivam idrisham ihajani nanuragaha 

O my Lord, Your holy name alone can render all benediction to living beings, and thus You have hundreds and millions of names, like Krsna and Govinda. In these transcendental names You have invested all Your transcendental energies. There are not even hard and fast rules for chanting these names. O my Lord, out of kindness You enable us to easily approach You by Your holy names, but I am so unfortunate that I have no attraction for them. 

When will I be attracted to the Name, from my heart, spontaneously?

The other day while observing the caturmasya vrata, milk fast, I saw the milk man carrying a full bucket of milk. The sight of that milk, a rich creamy white colour, full of natural sweetness, drew me like iron fillings to a magnet. I could have put both cupped hands in the bucket retrieving ambrosia, I wanted to not only drink it but also feel it. Missing drinking milk, I was feeling an impulsive pull towards the object of my senses. There was no reasoning, just an automatic attraction. It seems so mundane and laughable in retrospect.

This sentiment was a gift, a way for me to begin to understand what it is like to have spontaneous attraction for Krishna whose company I rejected, long ago.

When will my attraction for the holy Name also come from my heart, unannounced, untamed, drawing me to Him the way I felt drawn towards that milk?

When will my hankering for association with the holy name come from within?

When will I feel hunger for the Name, hunger for Krishna in his yuga avatar?

There are 4 different reasons why someone usually chants as described by Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur.

1. Fear: what will happen if I don’t chant?
This type of mentality is very obvious for those who see the Supreme person as a punishing God, not a loving God. It is predominant amongst Christians.

2. Hope: will I become free from material suffering? Will I enjoy the pleasures of heaven?
This feeling may also belong to those seeking liberation. What is the use of liberation? At this point it appears boring to me.

3. Duty: I have to, I said I would.
This reason is inherent to the path of sadhana bhakti, both vaidhi sadhana bhakti and raganuga sadhana bhakti. At the vaidhi stage of devotional service, there is no spontaneity whereas at the raganuga stage although externally the practices may appear the same, they are not forced; they are naturally arising from spiritual attachment.  (based on Srila Prabhupada’s Nectar of Devotion - Rupa Goswami’s Bhakti Rasamrta sindhu).

4. Love: Unconditional this reason stands alone and requires no explanation. It is the highest, it is our aim.

There is one additional category, chanting to seek forgiveness from offending the Holy Name. When one offends a vaisnava, the atonement prescribed is to serve that devotee. Similarly when one offends the holy name, it is recommended that one serves the Holy Name to make amends. Of course, there can also be mixed reasons for chanting.


WHAT IS AN OFFENSE TO THE HOLY NAME?

The Ten Offenses in Chanting the Holy Names 
(as described in Srila Prabhupada's Nectar of Devotion)

1. To blaspheme the devotees who have dedicated their lives to the propagation of the holy names of the Lord.

This offense is probably the most dangerous as it comes in a disguise. We may think we are engaging in “constructive criticism” meanwhile we are carelessly judging others. The allurement of this offense is that it provides us with a temporary feeling of superiority, righteousness. It has devastating effects that can be felt immediately, by the introspective devotee. We have no idea who we are dealing with, who is this person next to us that we choose to criticize, or how dear he/she is to Krishna. Therefore it is a safe path to focus on the qualities of others and our own faults.

2. To consider the names of the demigods like lord Shiva or lord Brahma to be equal to, or independent of, the name of Lord Vishnu.

I feel very fortunate that not having heard anything about Brahma or Siva prior to meeting Srila Prabhupada, I do not have any tendency to compare Krishna’s beautiful names, qualities and pastimes to demigods. It is none the less something to watch for.

3. To disobey the orders of the spiritual master.

4. To blaspheme the Vedic literature or literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.

5. To consider the glories of chanting Hare Krishna as imagination.

6. To give mundane interpretation of the holy name of the Lord.

Ajamila escaped the Yamadutas

There are several translations provided for the maha mantra. The one Srila Prabhupada most often quoted is “My dear Lord Krishna, dear Radha, please engage me in your service.” Hare, Krishna and Rama are all in vocative form meaning calling out to Radha, Krishna. One can call out in surrender, in love, in separation, in desperation … but calling must be there. If one is only chanting unconsciously, he/she may reach liberation, he may be able to ward off the Yamadutas as did Ajamila, but he will not be able to reach a loving relationship with Krishna in one of the five primary rasas, the ultimate goal of my life.

Whenever we call a friend by his/her name, immediately in our minds we see them. The way they act, talk, move, dress… what is stopping us from making this connection between Krishna and His names? Do we know Him as well as our friend? What does He do? How does He act, talk, move, dress? We can increase our connection to Krishna by hearing the descriptions of his qualities and activities and remembering it. By getting to know Him once again. Once that bond is firmly established we will certainly feel Krishna’s presence and be able to remember our eternal position in His lila.

7. To commit sinful activities on the strength of chanting the holy names of the Lord.

8. To consider the chanting of Hare Krishna as one of the auspicious, ritualistic activities which are offered in the Vedas as fruitive activities (karma-kanda).

9. To instruct a faithless person about the glories of the holy name.

10. To not have complete faith in the chanting of the holy names and to maintain material attachments even after understanding so many instructions on this matter. It is also offensive to be inattentive while chanting.

Srila Bhaktisiddhanta
Sarasvati Thakur

To not have complete faith includes faith that Krishna and his name can completely take care of you, in every aspect. There is no need for separate endeavors. Srila Bhaktisidhanta Sarasvati Thakur who is known for his strong speeches and uncompromising determination says:

“Those who think that all wants cannot be fulfilled by the performance of Harinam samkirtan, to that extent,
such people are atheists.” 

100% faith,100% surrender, 100% theism. Maintaining material attachments? How many of us still have material attachments? Or rather who does not have material attachments? We are not speaking only about wanting that red sports car or the big house in the country, but also being desire to be recognized, loved, having a certain standard of living, wanting our children to succeed materially... These are also material attachments. The attachments of the intelligence, mind and false ego are also in the material realm.

Inattentive while chanting?

It is not possible to control the mind by one’s own endeavor. Only with Krishna’s helps and the help of others on the path,  can it be achieved. The mind and the mantra are of two different realms, material and spiritual. In order for the mind to be in the mantra and the mantra to be in the mind, constant prayer and dependence in the Lord and his pure devotees’ mercy is the only option.

We can take comfort in the understanding that a constant effort to avoid these offenses will bring one to the clearing stage (namabhasa), gradually moving towards pure chanting (sudha nama). By carefully guarding against these ten offenses one can quickly achieve the desired success, Krishna Prema.

Having taken birth in this material world, we are plagued by a sick ego. The ego is ill and needs help; there is no better medicine in this age than the chanting of the Holy Name, it is a perfect medicine for everyone in this age.

kali-kale nāma-rupe krsna-avatara

nāma haite haya sarva-jagat-nistāra

"In this Age of Kali, the holy name of the Lord, the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra, is the incarnation of Lord Kṛṣṇa. Simply by chanting the holy name, one associates with the Lord directly. Anyone who does this is certainly delivered. (Śrī Caitanya Caritāmṛta Ādi 17.22)

kṛte yad dhyāyato viṣṇuḿ tretāyāḿ yajato makhaiḥ
dvāpare paricaryāyāḿ kalau tad dhari-kīrtanāt.

"Whatever result was obtained in Satya-yuga by meditating on Viṣṇu, in Tretā-yuga by performing sacrifices and in Dvāpara-yuga by serving the Lord's lotus feet can also be obtained in Kali-yuga simply by chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra.'(Śrī Caitanya Caritāmṛta Madhya 20.345) 

DOES LOVE REPLACE ATTACHMENT AND DUTY? 

When a mother is serving a growing baby in her womb, serving by accepting the discomforts that come with pregnancy, her service gradually turns to love. Daily eating the right things sleeping the right amount, thinking about the baby how he must feel, want, look, move. Her love for the baby grows as does the baby, through service and remembrance, absorption in thought related to the baby.

When the baby is born, regardless of his appearance, gender, health etc… the love she feels is the most humanly ecstatic emotion, yet they are meeting for the first time. She has no hesitation spending sleepless nights caring for the baby, nor does she take offense if the baby urinates on her, her love is selfless, she cannot be separated from the baby yet it is not addiction, it is selfless love. The love of the mother for her baby is the closest to love of God because there is no expectation in return. That love is born from service and constant remembering, 9 months of constant service.

Srila Prabhupada chanting
Hare Krishna japa.

Similarly by serving the holy name, chanting regularly if not constantly, as prescribed by Caitanya Mahaprabhu, gradually the heart becomes cleanse, creating a fertile environment for love for Krishna to mature. This is why I chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

ceto-darpana-marjanam bhava-maha-davagni-nirvapanam 

shreyah-kairava-chandrika-vitaranam vidya-vadhu-jivanam 

anandambudhi-vardhanam prati-padam purnamritaswadanam 

sarvatma-snapanam param vijayate sri-krishna-sankirtanam 

Glory to the Sri-Krsna-Sankirtana, which cleanses the heart of all the dust accumulated for years and extinguishes the fire of conditional life, of repeated birth and death. This sankirtana movement is the prime benediction for humanity at large because it spreads the rays of the benediction moon. It is the life of all transcendental knowledge. It increases the ocean of transcendental bliss, and it enables us to fully taste the nectar for which we are always anxious. (Siksastakam-1) 

It is best to chant out of pure love. Vaidhi bhakti leads to Raganuga bhakti, spontaneous service which is on the path to pure love, prema. Regulated service leads to attachment and love. So first one takes the medicine, regularly and sincerely practicing, praying for that spontaneous feeling to arise; then it is replaced by spontaneous chanting and glorification of Krishna, it is replaced by love. From regulation, to attachment, to pure love.

"If we simply place ourselves at the lotus feet of Krishna by taking to Krishna consciousness and keeping always in touch with Him by chanting the Hare Krishna mantra, we need not take much trouble in arranging to return to the spiritual world. By the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, this is very easy." (Srimad-Bhagavatam, 7.15.53 Purport) 

One step at a time, walking towards Radha Krishna's service and love,

your servant, gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanu-dasah

The Holy Name is Everything

Every week many of the Mayapur devotees meet twice or more in the evening.
The youth is the most steady at attending these kirtans.
We mostly chant Hare Krishna together for as much as 4 hours. Some devotees come and go, others stay for the whole thing.
On one such evening we sang this bhajan, I am only giving you the translation here, it is very precious. I can post the Sanskrit upon request.

Madhuram Madhurebhyo (translation to an anonymous Sanskrit poem)

(1) More sweet than all other sweet things;
       more auspicious than all other auspicious things;
       the greatest purifier of all purifying things -

The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

(2) The entire iniverse, from exalted Brahma down to the lowly clump of grass,
       is a product of the illusory energy of the Supreme Lord.
       The only thing that is reality, reality, again I say reality -

The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

(3) That person is a true preceptor, or a true father,
       a true mother, and a true friend also
       only if they teach one to always remember -

The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

(4) There is no certainty when the last breath will come
       and put an abrupt halt to all one's material plans;
       therefore it is wise to always practice chanting from very childhood -

The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

(5) Lord Hari eternally dwells in that place
       where truly exalted, spiritually advanced souls
       sing in the mood of pure devotion -


The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

(6) Aho! what a sorrow, what a sorrow!
       More painful tahn any other misery in the world!
       Mistaking it as mere piece of glass, the people have forgotten this jewel -

The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

(7) It should be heard again and again with one's ears.
       It should be uttered over and over with one's voice.
       It should be perpetually sung and sung anew -

The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

(8) It makes the entire universe seem insignificant as a blade of grass.
       It splendrously reigns supreme over all.
       It is full of eternally conscious divine ecstacy; it is supremely pure -

The Holy Name of Sri Hari alone is everything
harer namaiva kevalam

I am OK, You are OK, it's OK... or NOT

Sometimes in our devotional life dilemmas present themselves.

 I HEAR:

 "I follow the principles, it is ok to eat this, it is vegetarian, I know it has been prepared by non devotees but I will offer it and it looks very good.  It is ok; I will offer it to Krishna…  The unreadable ingredients are just flavors or preservatives, it is ok."

"It is ok to watch TV, it doesn't hurt anyone, it doesn't break any principles, it relaxes me, I know how to remember Krishna while doing these things, it is only a movie, come on...
Want to watch with us"

"It is ok to go out and party, I am not breaking any rules - most of the time...
It is my life, Krishna knows my heart, He knows I love Him."

I ALSO HEAR, FROM MY HEART::

"What is my priority?

What is the focus of my life?

Do I want to go back to Krishna in this life or... whenever I get there? “
Am I living a minimum or a maximum commitment to re-awakening my love for Krishna?

Scenic route or freeway?”

When taking the scenic route it may be said that the speed being less, there is some integral safety, accidents may not be as harmful. It may also be the mind expressing a futile attempt at dissuading us from fast tracking back to Krishna. There is a very real danger of wanting to make a few stops on the scenic route, visiting this pleasure that gratification, following the senses for yet another distraction; the focus can be easily weakened. direction can be lost. I am actually fed up with the body and mind’s constant suggestion to engage in the allurements of the scenic route I am fed up with the allurements of that route, cheating me from arriving sooner at my destination. What appears to be a safe journey is nothing more that flirting with maya, testing how strong we are in her presence. I already know the answer, I am weak, without Krishna's mercy and that of his devotees I stand no chance so why test, why flirt with maya? The beauty of my destination cannot be compared with its foggy reflection in this world. No more pit stop, no more scenic routes, I am gratefully developing disdain and contempt for these allurements.

"Please my dear Lord Krishna allow me to choose the freeway "

Do I want to be an "ok" devotee or do I want to be ecstatic, transcendental, serving Radha Krishna with unalloyed prema? The answer is clear for me. I am not satisfied to simply come to the human platform by proper behavior I want to get to my goal in this life.

Do I want to repeatedly endeavor in this material world? or am I eager to get out.

Today I pray:

“O son of Nanda, Krishna, king of the country of love, I appeal for your affection, I am your servant. I feel deep within myself that I have connection to you. I am subordinate to You, but somehow I am now in adverse circumstances. There are so many enemies within me trying to take me away from You. Therefore I cannot give my full attention to You and Your name.

At the same time I feel, from the deepest place in my heart, that you are my master. You are all and everything to me. My heart will never be satisfied without Your companionship, so I appeal to You.  I am under unfavorable circumstances. I am suffering. And without your grace I do not find any relief from my present imprisoned condition.”

 (as quoted in a lecture by H.H. Mahanidhi Swami from Caitanya mahaprabhu’ 5^th Siksastaskam prayer)

One steady step at a time, walking towards Radha Krishna's service and love,
your servant, gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanu-dasah