One of the luxuries of living in Mayapur is the availability of different books by our leaders. There are 2 main kinds of books as far as I am concerned. The ones that give you information that may feed your pride and the ones that awaken your soul.
I remember being here around Gaura Purnima time. There were always many book tables full of nectar. I haven't lived in Mayapur in many years and somehow I feel joyfully overwhelmed at all the nectar I have to catch up on, without counting the eternal nectar found in Srila Prabhupada's books that is still available to me.
In the course or co-writing a book on living, dying and grieving as a devotee, I was looking up a quote by H.H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami on grieving, from his book Spiritual Warrior IV. I found myself attracted by a couple chapters further in the book: "Addiction and the process of recovery" and started reading. It led me on a reading journey that I don’t regret as he has touched my soul.
Have you ever read 3 books at a time, not sure which one you wanted to read first? I found myself simultaneously reading Spiritual Warriors IV, Spiritual Warrior V and The Beggar IV. I may have been more puzzled but I only had these 3 with me that day. The following is a meditation from The Beggar II.
"Dear lord, is there really any difference between me and the recovering alcoholic?
In the beginning, the alcoholic spends years in denial of his addiction, feeling that
he is in control and can check his drinking any time he desires. But how do I really differ? You see, I am the one who is in denial - not for years - but for hundreds of lifetimes. I have continually taken shelter of my week constitution, thinking myself to be in utter control. But when it comes to cleaning the garbage that resides in my mind, I remain at a total loss..."
In the beginning, the alcoholic spends years in denial of his addiction, feeling that
he is in control and can check his drinking any time he desires. But how do I really differ? You see, I am the one who is in denial - not for years - but for hundreds of lifetimes. I have continually taken shelter of my week constitution, thinking myself to be in utter control. But when it comes to cleaning the garbage that resides in my mind, I remain at a total loss..."
What is your addiction, what is my addiction?
Am I addicted to endlessly trying to enjoy Krishna's opulences as my own?
Do I stubbornly try to find in me His beauty? even the most beautiful will get old.
His renunciation? what a great expression of false ego, setting oneself up as controller of his/her body’s demands.
His knowledge? information without wisdom makes man/woman proud.
His fame, His strength? What futile attempts undertaken by the jiva! These endeavors bring about an illusion of control and supremacy, ultimately only feeding his/her negativity as he/she is doomed to failure.
Am I addicted to seeing this body as the Self? Wanting to keep face as I sink into illusion and delusion? Identification with the body, its hankerings, desires, ways of being is a painful addiction as it can never be satiated. For how many births have I tried to satisfy the mind and false ego? For how many more births will I try?
"Krishna please save me from this illusion
as only You can. Maya is too strong."
as only You can. Maya is too strong."
The nature of the soul is sat-chit-ananda, eternity, knowledge and bliss. Yes BLISS, no wonder we are looking for pleasure, It is part of our eternal make up or identity to be blissful. Only, we are looking at the wrong places. In trying to enjoy separately from Krishna you can only reach this illusion of enjoyment, the shadow of pleasure which ultimately causes pain.
Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 4.20.5
Those who are in full knowledge of the bodily conception of life, who know
that this body is composed of nescience, desires and activities
resulting from illusion, do not become addicted to the body.
that this body is composed of nescience, desires and activities
resulting from illusion, do not become addicted to the body.
In taking the time to analyze ourselves and others we can see that everyone in this world – safe the liberated souls – suffers from one kind of dependency or another.
It may be that subconsciously we are looking for that ecstasy that is available to the true lovers of God. As only they are aloof, truly transcendental to the calling of sense pleasures including those of the mind.
"Krishna, please let me taste the nectar of pure love so
that my attraction to the pale material energy becomes dissipated."
that my attraction to the pale material energy becomes dissipated."
The author of Spiritual Warriors IV, His Holiness Bhakti Tirtha Swami recommends that the whole world should take advantage of the extraordinary power of programs such as Alcoholic Anonymous Twelve Steps. He says:
“The process is so extraordinary that if people throughout the world would take advantage of these Twelve Steps, it could trigger a global mind shift The program contains many tenets that can allow people to gain a tremendous shift in consciousness and help them accelerate in their understanding of the Self.”
In order to give up something one has to replace it with a higher pleasure.
“…Just never settle for the imitation intoxication of the material dimension.
Instead always hanker to partake of the real sweetness of
spiritual inebriation by embracing the actual altered state
that exists in pure love of God.” (Spiritual Warriors IV – p. 224)
Instead always hanker to partake of the real sweetness of
spiritual inebriation by embracing the actual altered state
that exists in pure love of God.” (Spiritual Warriors IV – p. 224)
It is natural for the soul to want to feel that bliss, happiness, joy, temporarily felt in an intoxicated state, as this state is also tasted in pure love of God in an unfathomable intensity. We are uselessly looking for bliss in the wrong place. It is in loving God, Krishna that we will find this bliss not in imitating Him or in identifying with a mortal, gross and subtle body.
Today I want to give up my search for material pleasures of the mind and false ego. I want to taste the bliss of loving God.
More next time.
Happily and slowly taking one step at a time towards Radha and Krishna's Love.
your ever servant of the servants
3 comments:
Hare Krsna, dear Yasomati dd
Thank you for this Blog. It makes me smile ;-)
a coupls a days ago, i thought as i´m no good in writing, there should be a way to transform the 12 Steps into KC or so, I did not know this happend already.- I have had talks with other Seniors Devoties, who got to know the 12 steps too, and ther is only one thing
BOTH KC & 12Steps work very fine together.
As it is so easy to hide behind the books and to preach onto others without SURRENDERING, and the Journey begins with Surrendering, its not easy and NO one said or even wrote it is easy.
To Surrender is the key to a higher level, which one never dreamt of it would be possible!
Haribol
an Anonymous (any ones mouse)
Hare Krishna Anyone's Mouse,
Yes absolutely Surrender and Gratitude, 2 words we need to hear more often. Add to that Prayer.
Actually, I am currently working the 12 steps myself with a Narcotic Anonymous sponsor. I have no attachment to chemical or organic drugs, as my drug of choice is my false ego, and attachment to my faulty 'way of being', but I could use some help getting rid of these. Addiction is addiction.
I intend helping others do the same later. I am finding it is stirring my soul, Heavy work.
May be soon, there will be a 12 step program added to MIHET :-)
Have you done the 12 steps yourself? with a sponsor? It also gives me relishable opportunities to share Krishna Consciousness with an open minded outsider, someone who is familiar with taking shelter in God. It is helpful in going deeper in Krishna Conciousness.
Hare Krishna from a turtle-parrot to anyone's mouse.
Yasomati dd
yasomati.dasi@gmail.com
One of the most important lessons we learn in Narcotics Anonymous is that addiction is much more than the drugs we used. Addiction is a part of us; it’s an illness that involves every area of our lives, with or without drugs. We can see its effects on our thoughts, our feelings, and our behavior, even after we stop using. Because of this, we need a solution that works to repair every area of our lives: the Twelve Steps.
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