CART BEFORE THE HORSE?

RENUNCIATION OR HEARING & CHANTING

WHICH COMES FIRST?

Q - If we desire to progress on our spiritual journey then we need to shed our attachment to our material belongings and relationships both, this is all required I understand. What about emotional attachment towards spiritual sisters or helpful souls which we gather at times. I get emotionally involved with very soft humble souls sometimes in temple. Nature and frequency matches. Please guide 🙏 🙌

A - You are trying to put the cart before the horse. What comes first is hearing, than chanting the holy name. Take the example of the prostitute who was hired to make Hari das Thakur fall down. She was determined to succeed but in the course of her nefarious assignment, she heard the holy name from the mouth of a pure devotee. For two full nights she listened. On the third night, she surrendered. Then she was ready to give up everything painlessly.

The better the chanting the quicker the attachment to Radha Krishna and Their service will manifest, after all, Love is a two way street. As attachment for Krishna and His name manifest, detachment for all mundane things and temporal relationships vanishes. At that moment, interactions with other jivas changes in nature. You love this or that soul because he is Krishna's, not because he has green eyes, a convincing smile, similar interest or temperament. Your love for jivas becomes either based on compassion or gratitude, not mundane attachment.

“After instructing the prostitute about the process of
chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra, Haridāsa Ṭhākura
stood up and left, continuously chanting “Hari, Hari.”
CC Antya 3.138

When a prostitute hired by the envious and malicious Ramachandra Khan was sent to conquer Haridas's senses, she first stayed in the doorway occasionally chanting, waiting patiently for his chanting to be completed so she could enjoy union with him. Although the prostitute had an ulterior motive, somehow or other she got the association of a pure vaiṣṇava and satisfied him by occasionally chanting in imitation, “O my Lord Hari, O my Lord Hari."

"The conclusion is that associating with a Vaiṣṇava, chanting the holy name of the Lord and offering obeisances to the Tulasī plant or a Vaiṣṇava, all lead one to become a transcendental devotee who is completely cleansed of all material contamination." (purport to CC Antya 3.122)

Did she first give up her desires to have union with him? or did she first hear the chanting? She heard pure chanting for three nights and at the end of the third night she begged for forgiveness and surrendered at the feet of Haridas asking for instructions. It is at that moment, with the order of guru empowering her, that she gave up all fineries and luxuries, her house, her former life and habits. She then stayed at Haridas's vacated kutir, worshipping Tulsi devi, chanting the holy name and eating frugally, living the life of an ascetic. 

We need to put the horse before the cart, work on our hearing and chanting first. Hear from sadhus. Hear from Srila Prabhupada, then chant nicely.

"With prīti, with love. Chant every name, "Hare Kṛṣṇa," and hear. Here is Kṛṣṇa, here is Rādhārāṇī. That kind of chanting, quality. Not "Harekṛṣṇaharekṛṣṇakṛṣṇakṛṣṇaharehare . . ." Not like that. Not like that. Prīti. 

Teṣāṁ satata-yuktānāṁ bhajatāṁ prīti (BG 10.10). That prīti is required. That is the essential quality". - Prabhupada Lecture, June 17, 1973, Mayapur

We can try to rise early to chant during a more auspicious time for meditation. We can restrict our eating to strickly Krishna prasad so our body is not encumbered by material desires inherited from contaminated foods. We can be selective in our association. Associate only with those who can help uplifting your consciousness. Theses are favourable circumstances we have some control over, the rest is mercy. Gradually as we develop taste for chanting, material attachment will melt away as they did for the prostitute and countless others.

When one has fresh hot roti, what is the question of attraction to yesterday's stale and cold roti?

Hare Krishna,

I beg for the blessings of the vaisnavas that I may be able to please my guru maharaj.

MESSAGES AND MESSENGERS

 In Krishna's Vraj lila, messengers are very important. There are cowherd boy messengers, manjaris messengers, bird messengers, animal messengers, inanimate object messengers....

Amongst the gopas, the cetas or cetakas, are very expert at arranging rendez-vous and such secret missions which inevitably includes messages often given in the form of riddles. Bhangura and Bhringara are two such bold and witty friends of Krishna.

Krishna's flute is an expert messenger also, calling only specific gopis. Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur describes in SB the power of that flute and Jiva Goswami says how others could not hear the flute song if not intended for them. Powerful and specific messenger! 

The special power of the flute: others could not hear it, but it attracted the gopīs.
Jiva Goswami, SB 10.29.4 purport 

There are the Apta duti gopi messengers headed by Vira and Vrnda. There are many parrot messengers and even an old she-monkey named Kakkhati who loves to carry an urgent message to the Divine couple lovingly trapped in mutual embrace in the love bower as dawn approaches. She screams, almost daily: "The sun is rising. looking like and old ascetic with red jatas, Jatila". She never fails to frighten Radha who hears the name of her mother in law within the urgent message. Today an unusual messenger, a swan messenger is on my mind, Hamsaduta.

One day, Radha and her friends, the sakhis were walking on the bank of the Yamuna river. All of them were immersed in the mood of separation from Krishna who had gone to Mathura on family duty. Akrura had come to Vrndavan and cruelly stole the life of Vraj, on the order of king Kamsa. He heartlessly took Krishna and Balaram to Mathura, grateful for the opportunity of association and fully confident of the prowess of the lads. Kamsa's intention was to kill them or at least kill Krishna, the eight son of Devaki, but things went quite differently. Krishna killed the mad elephant Kuvalyapida who was meant to trample Him in lieu of due grand reception. They defeated the wrestlers Mustika and Canura who were like mountains compared to the boys. Krishna even wrestled to death His uncle Kamsa, a celebrated warrior. When Akrura had taken the boys away, the Vrajbhasis reasoned that They would return in a few days after visiting family members. This was a survival strategy as they couldn't bear the pain of impending extended separation. This is how Nanda, Yasoda and others maintained their lives, always expecting Krishna would be back today or tomorrow. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and years while Radha forcibly held on to her life airs. "I will return" Krishna said. What if she gave up her life and He arrived looking for her?

 

  "Once, when Srimati Radharani was feeling much affliction  because of her separation from Krishna, She went to the bank of the Yamuna with some of Her friends. There, Radharani saw a cottage wherein She and Krishna had experienced many loving pleasures, and by remembering those incidents, She immediately became overcome with dizziness. She fell in the dust, Her limbs motionless, barely breathing."

After placing semi conscious Radha on a bed of lotus petals, Lalita went to fetch some water.

On the Yamuna's shore she saw a graceful and sweetly warbling white swan.

"He may be able to bring a message to Krishna."

Who can blame such a girl? Being consumed by the agony of her own separation combined with that of seeing the suffering of Radha, who can blame her for talking to a swan? In her transcendental madness, he appeared as the ideal candidate, ideal messenger.

"Fly over the path where the passionately crying gopis followed their lover as He went on Akrura's chariot, and you will become the greatest of swans, paramahamsa. O king of swans, please stay for a moment on this kadamba tree full of new leaves, the tree Lord Hari climbed when, to flood us with waves of secret love, He suddenly stole our garments. See the rasa-lila place, a place where dancing broke the jasmine vines, a place dark with musk fallen from the vine forms of the splendid and playful gopis, a place where a certain person crowned with peacock feathers, dressed in garments splendid as gold, His limbs dark as a tamala tree, filling all directions with glorious handsomeness, flooding the world with waves of bliss, and His mouth kissing a simple flute, made wonderful music, it will put joy in your heart.

Be careful not to place your eyes on Lord Hari's amorous festival jasmine vine cottage. When, by seeing it, you become so filled with bliss, you may forget your mission, then all the gopis will perish."

What is the message?

Not so fast.

When you see Mathuranath Krishna, do not speak right away. He may be surrounded by city damsels and fine pleasures of the city. Wait until he is in nature, where he can feel the sun and wind, where He can smell the jasmine flowers, hear the "kuhus" of the cuckoos... Then you remind him of us, simple and lovesick Vraja gopikas who have become less than half persons in His absence. We cannot live without Him. Tell Him how, tortured on every side by the flames of the forest fire of separation and gravely wounded by the hunter Kamadeva, the deer of my friend's life will leave the withered forest of Her body today or tomorrow. Remind Him of Radha's unlimited and unflinching love.

Acknowledge His wonder. Describe how he is the origin of the Dasavatar, be His friend.

"O king of birds, the waves of your words broken with symptoms of love, and your face wet with tears from your eyes, tell all this to Him. As you wait for the nectar of Lord Govinda's reply, gaze on Him with your eyes."

"Please bring Nanda's son on the pathway of our eyes. Please do this kindness for the gopis,

who are worshiped in all the worlds. O king of swans, don't doubt that you can fly to Mathura in nine or twelve hours."

"O swan lover who enjoys playing in the lakes and who has the power to separate milk and
water, You are very wise. Why delay your journey to Mathura?

Click here for all nectarian Hamsaduta verses.

More next time, as I slowly and happily take one step at a time towards Radha and Krishna's Love and pray for the mercy of the vaisnavas without whose mercy I am lost.

Begging to remain the servant of your servants.

LOVE AND JAPA

LOVE IS A TWO WAY STREET

"...  it is a matter of Radha and Krishna
being inspired to come to be with us,
to keep us company... "

A few years ago, I came across the following beautiful article written by Aindra prabhu and published by Dhanurdhara Swami in his Japa Meditation book. I since recorded it and hear it every morning as an inspiration for conscious chanting.

Love is a two way street. 

It is important to always remember that love is never a forced affair. Love is a matter of mutual attraction. There is a saying that “birds of a feather flock together”, one might say, “love birds of a feather flock together”. So, it is not just a matter of our approach to the holy name, but rather it is a matter of Radha and Krishna being inspired to come to be with us to keep us company. We can try to chant the holy name but usually our endeavours will manifest as namabhasa. But as far as kirtan or suddha nama bhajan is concerned , when Krishna is attracted to the sweetness of our heartfelt feelings towards Him, or our heart’s attraction towards Him, or our determination to get His attention, then He comes to see us. He comes to keep us company. He takes up residence in our heart, and He dances on our tongue. My experience is that chanting is not a matter of simply endeavouring to articulate some syllables. Actually, such chanting is not really chanting. Chanting looks like chanting but actually chanting is Krishna dancing. By His own sweet will He is making His Divine descent from Goloka dham and dancing on our tongues. 

... Again, again and again,
He pastures on our tongues, by forcing
His way into our consciousness,
dancing on our tongues... 

The holy name is a beautiful, sweetest of all sweetest cowherd boy. He is a cowherd boy, a beautiful blue cowherd boy, handsome and completely captivating to the heart. By the mercy of Hare, Radha, our hearts have become undeniably, intensely enchanted by the sweetness of that little boy Krishna, and because we have become enchanted by Him, and He is aware of that, naturally, He won’t leave us alone. Again and again and again, He pastures on our tongues, by forcing His way into our consciousness, dancing on our tongues. Practically, as if by an involuntary motion, Nama is again and again appearing on our hearts and dancing on our tongues. 

So I can’t offer any idea concerning the methodology of chanting, how to focus the mind, how to increase attraction to the holy name or any such things beyond the simple fact that because Krishna has captivated our hearts, and our hearts go to Him, naturally He reciprocates by again and again coming and pasturing on our tongues in various ways. He comes in the form of nama-sankirtan, in the form of our nikunja-seva, our nama-bhajana.” 

- Aindra das

More next time, as I slowly and happily take one step at a time towards Radha and Krishna's Love and pray for the mercy of the vaisnavas without whose mercy I am lost.

Begging to remain the servant of your servants.

WHAT IS LOVE?

Dressed as a goddess, Krishna approached Radha... a great discussion ensued as He/she tried to convince Radha that Krishna is not worthy of Her love.

“The love of two rasikas is like a lamp. Unflickering,
it illuminates the home of the heart.
But if it's light leaves through the doorway of the mouth,
it is at once dimmed or stopped. 

Staying in the heart, that lamplight may leave through
the windows of the eyes and
shine on the lips, cheeks, forehead, and breast.
Effulgent in this way, a lover communicates the truth
of love to a wise beloved. "

I had thought of writing about Visvanatha Chakravarti Thakur's Sri Prema Samputa but actually there is not a word from this wonderful poetry that I do not want to quote. It is only 141 verses. I challenge the readers to take a few minutes and read Love explained by Maha Bhava Swarupini, the embodiment of the greatest love, Herself.  

*NOTE: Words in colour are my additions. 

Sri Prema Samputa
by Visvanath Chakravarti Thakur

        

        Setting the scene

1. Dressing in the garments of a beautiful demigoddess, Lord Krishna went one morning to the doorway of His beloved. Lowering His eyes and covering His face with the edge of His red garment, He quickly entered. 
   
   
2. Watching from afar, Sri Radha said, “Friend Lalita, look. Who is that girl, that girl glorious with many ornaments, that girl the splendor of whose lotus face fills My house with the luster of sapphires?" 
   
   
3. Hearing their friend's words, Lalita and Vishakha at once approached and said, “Who are You, O girl with the slender waist? From where have You come? What is Your purpose? Please tell." Krishna gave no reply. 
   
   
4. Pushed by curiosity, Sri Radha approached Krishna, who is the best of philosophers, and politely asked, “Who are You? The splendour of Your body has stolen My heart. Are You a demi goddess? You are like splendid beauty personified." 
   
   
5. To still silent Krishna, She again said, “O beautiful girl, You have come to Us. Please introduce Yourself. Please know that We are all Your close friends. O girl with the bowed face, what do You fear, or of what are You ashamed?" 
   
   
6. Putting on a show like an actor, Krishna sighed, turned His face, remained silent, and pretended to be distraught. Then Radha said, “You must truly suffer. Otherwise You would not act like this. 
   
   
7. “O girl with the lotus face, please tell Me about it. Trust Me. I will try to help. By telling Your secrets to a friend, You will extinguish the painful flames in Your heart. 
    
8. “Are You now separated from Your beloved? Are You unhappy to see his vices? Do You fear he will not forgive Your sins? Did wicked slanderers lie to him about You? 
   
   
9. “Or does Your heart now hate Your foolish husband? Have You fallen in love with another man, a wonderful man, a man You cannot attain? For this reason are You tormented, as I am, by the harsh words of Your superiors? 
   
   
10. “O slender girl, perhaps Your heart was wounded by many arrows of harsh words from a co-wife blind by drinking the madira nectar of seeing a small part Your good fortune. But that is not possible. Who is more glorious than You, more gloriously anointed with the fragrance of good fortune? 
    
    
11. “Are You Goddess Mohini whom the Vedas say came to enchant Lord Shiva? O girl with the moonlike face, whom have You come to enchant? If Krishna glances at You from the corner of His eye, Kamadeva will certainly attack Him. He will be enchanted by You and You by Him. That will be a great wonder." 
    
    
12. Noticing that when He heard these words Krishna placed His upper cloth over limbs where the hairs now stood erect, Radha said, “O My friend, are You tortured by the body's pains? Is the pain in Your chest? Along Your back? Is it a headache? 
    
    
13. “Vishakha, quickly bring from the house the costly oil My noble father affectionately sent, the oil named “Akhilamaya-shatana" (the cure for all diseases). Now I will make good use of it. "
    
    
14. “With this oil, which is My father's love for Me personified, I will personally massage the limbs of this girl with the beautiful eyebrows. I will drive away all Her pains. O My friend, then I will very gently and expertly massage Her head. 
    
    
15. I will bathe Her with very beautiful warm water scented with fragrant medicines. I will remove Her anger. I will make Her lotus mouth splendid. I will make it blossom with words.
    
    
16. If, after I worship Her with sweet words, helpful actions, and unconditional love, this girl keeps Her bitter face and still will not speak, then She is only pretending, O My friends. 
    
    
17. Any girl whom I treat with these divine medicines given by Dhanvatari will become healthy, cured of all diseases of body, breath, mind, and senses. 
    
    
18. If I arrange that the king of the forests massages Her breasts with His lotus hands, She will smile, talk, and sigh. Her splendour will make Us all laugh. 
    
    
19. Hearing these words, Krishna secretly smiled a lotus smile, slightly pushed aside His curly locks and cloth veil, and slightly lifted His bowed face.
    
    Krishna introduces the goddess
    
    
    
20. In a woman's sweet voice, Krishna began to speak. Like a cakori bird, Radha drank His words without stop. She and Her friends were filled with wonder. 
    
    
21. He said, “I am a goddess. I live in the heavenly sky. Please hear, O girl with the beautiful face, why I have come to You. I am unhappy at heart. Who but You can tell Me what I yearn to know?" 
    
    
22. Then Radha said, “When You say, `I am a goddess', You do not lie. We accept that You are. What human girl has peerless beauty like Yours? 
    
    
23. “O girl with the autumn-lotus face, when I made various guesses about You, I was only joking. My heart is sincere. I meant no offence. If I You show some affection for Me, I will be Your maidservant."
    
    
24. Then Krishna replied, “Friend, why are You awe-struck? Please know that even though I am a goddess, I am Your maidservant also. Now that I have touched a single drop from the ocean of Your beauty, love, and virtue, I have decided to become Your maidservant. 
    
    
25. “Please hear what I will tell. My suffering is very great. Please dispel My doubt. Even though I am now splashed by the nectar of Your words, the sufferings of My heart have still not come to an end. 
    
    
26. 
    “Friend, when it enters the cities of demigods, Krishna's Vrindavan flute-music becomes very powerful. Because of it. the saintly demi goddesses now feel disgust in their hearts when they even remember their husbands' neck-to-neck embraces. 
    
    
27. “After a moment's embrace, the surprised demigods backed away from their wives' bodies, bodies now feverish like smoldering embers. Having tasted the nectar-poison of Krishna's flute music, and now burning with fever, the goddesses fell unconscious. 
    
    
28. “In Our cities no one grows old. Who criticizes others there? There everyone is equally pious. Who mocks others there? Still, flooding those cities, this flute-music defeated the saintly goddesses' chastity. 
    
    
29. “Every day this flute music comes to defeat the demigoddesses. One day I thought in My heart, `What is this music? From where does it come? Who makes it?'
    
    
30.  “Descending from Devaloka, I came here to the earth. For some days I stayed at Vamshivata. There I saw Krishna's peerless pastimes. There I saw His many gopi-beloveds and gopi-friends." 
    
    
31. Then Radha spoke these sweet and playful words: “O fortunate one, You are the most intelligent girl in the demigods' cities. Others also found their senses cut apart by powerful longings, but only You tried to solve Her dilemma."
    
    
32. Gently moving His eyebrows, and flooding His lips with the glory of His sweet smile, Krishna said, “Radha, You have never known a girl like Me before. How can another man have the power even to see Me?"
    
    
33. Then Radha said, “You have already seen Krishna's pastimes in secluded places. Why would You be interested in any other man? Why have You come? What do You wish to tell Me? Please tell it. If You accept Me as a friend, I will joke and play with You." 
    
    
34. Then Krishna said, “Friend, You are joking with Me. Who can defeat You in joking? You are My life breath. How can You also be My friend? You may be only a human girl, but all the goddesses bow their heads before the pure descriptions of Your glories. 
    
    
35.  “I’m not flattering You. Please don't feel embarrassed. I'm not neutral. Still, what I say is not a lie. Neither Lakshmi nor Parvati desire to stand on the balance opposite You, on the balance that weighs beauty, virtue, and good fortune. 
    
    
36. “Even in the spiritual worlds above the three material realms no girl even dares think to be Your equal in matters of love. This I heard in Parvati's assembly on the peak on Mount Kailasa. 
    
    
37. “When I heard this, a great desire to see You was born in My heart. That desire filled Me. Even though that desire burned wildly within it, My hard heart still did not break into pieces."
    
    
38. “What is it? Tell Me at once!" Radha said again and again. His throat choked with tears, Krishna had no power to speak. Krishna's eyes were flooded with tears. With the edge of Her garment, Radha gently wiped the tears from Krishna's face. (One can only imagine how Krishna being touched by Radha must have struggled to keep His disguise and composure)
    
    Complaints about Krishna
    
    
39. 
    After some moments Krishna became peaceful again. Then He said to Radha, “Why do You have such strong, limitless, peerless love for that rake Krishna? Anyone who knowingly places his faith in a great sinner will suffer. 
    
    
40. “Even though He is filled with handsomeness, heroism, good fortune, fame, and wealth, and even though He is decorated with the jewels of every virtue, He has no understanding of true love. He is a rake. Therefore no girl should take shelter of Him. 
    
    
41. “During the day He enjoyed many pastimes with You. Again and again He earnestly declared that He loved You. At night He met You in the forest. Then that cheater left You and delighted some other girl. 
    
    
42. “Then You lamented. You filled Your friends with anguish. You made the birds and the vines weep. Hiding at Vamshivata, I angrily saw everything. 
    
    
43. “While enjoying the rasa dance He suddenly left all the others and showed His great love for You. Staying with You for only a moment, He left You alone in the forest, alone and exhausted from enjoying many amorous pastimes. 
    
    
44. “Then You were plunged into grief. You fell deeply unconscious. Whatever You did was bewildered and disoriented. As I live many lifetimes, and as My body passes through its eight transformations, the grief You felt will stay in My heart. 
    
    
45. “I am a goddess. How can I feel grief? O glorious girl, by My destiny I yearned to see You. When You came before Me, You pushed a dagger into Me and gravely wounded Me. O My friend, I have no way to pull that dagger out. 
    
    
46. “Tied to You, My heart does not wish to return to Devaloka. Neither does it wish to remain here even for a single sesame seed's worth of time. It staggers from one moment to the next. It cannot become steady. After a long time, I have now revealed to You My heart. 
    
    
47. “I always fear Krishna. He is not ashamed to misbehave before saintly people. He never walks on the path of mercy. In His childhood He killed a woman, and in His youth He quickly killed a bull and a calf." 
    Note: The woman, bull, and calf are Putana, Arishtasura, and Vatsasura. 
    
    
48. Then Radha said, “O beautiful girl, within You is some force that draws You to Krishna. Even as You criticize Him, You love Him in Your heart. 
    
    
49. “If You do not return to Devaloka, and if You become My friend and stay always with Me in this land of Vraja, Then I will open My jewelry case and show You My beautiful jewels of pure spiritual love. If You do not stay, I will not show them." 
    
    
50. Then Krishna said, “Alas! Even now You don't believe Me! Please be merciful. I am already Your maidservant. How can You make Me Your friend? Please teach Me what is right. Make Me happy or punish Me. O Radha, You are the only goal of My life. This I vow before Lord Vishnu Himself." 
    
    What is love?
    
    
51. Text 51 - Then Radha said, “If You wish to know about love, then please listen. A person may be a great scholar learned in the Vedas and still not know what is true love and what it is not. 
    
    
52. “O My friend, to an eager student someone may give an abstract explanation of true love, but true love is understood only by direct experience. When one tries to analyze it, true love disappears, and when one does not try to analyze it, true love disappears again. 
    
    
53. “When the heart is free of these two, then pure love gloriously sits on the throne of one's nature. Then one acts to please the beloved, and the beloved's pleasure shows the true nature of love. 
    
    
54. “As a lion is nourished by defeating many elephants, so powerful love is nourished by defeating many troubles, troubles like Mount Sumeru, troubles that come from the two worlds, from one's kinsmen, from outsiders, from oneself, and even from the beloved who is more dear than life itself. 
    
    
55. “True love is like proud, fearless, self-assured, glistening-limbed lion that, even while he sleeps, with a single roar defeats a host of dogs. True love is like a lamp gloriously shining in the darkness. 
    
    
56. “Because it is very intense and wanton, true love brings great pleasure and wild passion. It make the beloved new and delightful at every moment. As the nectar moon delights the three worlds, it delights the lover. Its shines like the sun at the time of cosmic devastation, a sun that makes the three worlds burst into flames. 
    
    
57. “O My friend, does anyone in the three worlds, above or below, bear this kind of love for any beloved other than Krishna? Only the doe-eyed girls of Vraja love, some more and some less, in this way. 
    
    
58. “When that pure love sometimes pretends to be lust, the beloved Krishna finds limitless pleasure in it. But when lust sometimes pretends to be pure love, intelligent Krishna knows at once. 
    
    
59. Even if she speaks these words: “O my friend, please bring me to Krishna at once. I am burning with desire’,  a gopi desires in her heart only to please Krishna. Her intent is not to please herself. 
    
    
60. “Krishna is an ocean of love. He is a jewel-mine of transcendental qualities. His cheating, deceptions, and crookedness are all delightful. Pretending it is lust, He uses these to show His love for the gopis. He uses them to attract the gopis. 
    
    
61. “Who are the hundreds and thousands of passionate girls that, banned all together, have the power to satisfy the desires of Krishna? Krishna loves the beautiful gopis with no motive for His own pleasure. He loves them because He is conquered by their love for Him. This I have personally seen. 
    
    
62. “The people think Krishna loves Me very much. That is not a lie. He thinks My love is like Mount Meru and the other gopis' love is like three or four mustard seeds. 
    
    
63.  “As the gopis love Him, so He loves them. He plays with them in ways appropriate to their passionate love for Him. He never offends them. If by destiny sometimes He offends them, He is not happy because of that. His unhappiness then makes Me burn with pain. 
    
    
64. “Sometimes He arranges with Me a lover's meeting, and never comes. Enchanted by some girl, He enjoys with her. Then He passes the night tormented by a forest fire of worrying how I must be suffering. 
    
    
65. “Because of that a great fire burned in My heart. Saying, `What is the use of My garments, ornaments, and possessions? Meant to enchant Him, they are now useless!', I wept. You must have seen all this. 
    
    
66. “In the morning He comes to pacify Me, and I rebuke Him, saying, “Go to her! Enjoy again with her!" For Him My anger is the dearest pleasure. Please know that these are the ways of love in Vraja. 
    
    
67. Again and again I made my desire clear, saying, “Rake, why do You leave Me and enjoy with another?" With many words I showed the marks of lovemaking on His body. He accepted that He is an offender. 
    
    
68. “The love of two rasikas is like a lamp. Unflickering, it illuminates the home of the heart. But if it's light leaves through the doorway of the mouth, it is at once dimmed or stopped. 
    
    
69. Staying in the heart, that lamplight may leave through the windows of the eyes and shine on the lips, cheeks, forehead, and breast. Effulgent in this way, a lover communicates the truth of love to a wise beloved. 
    
    
70. However, when it comes again and again from My beloved's mouth, that lamplight is never dimmed even slightly. He is famous for speaking lies. Pretending it is the light of lust, He at once covers that light as if with a curtain. 
    
    
71. Krishna, His body bearing the clear signs of lovemaking with other lovers, again and again speaks words like these to Me, broken with jealousy, and to other jealous girls also: “O My dearest beloved, My passionate love for You has no peer. Even in a dream no other girl can stay in My heart.' 
    
    
72. “Praising the peerless sweet beauty of My eyes and My face, He yearns to enjoy pastimes with Me. Saying, “You are My life", He reveals not His love, but only His desire to enjoy with Me. 
    
    
73. “If she burns in the flames of separation from Krishna, if she is devoured by the desire to be with Him, and if she is plunged in the deep ocean of love for Him, a girl will reveal her love in words like those of Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.31.19.      
    
    Note: In Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.31.19 the gopis say: “O dearly beloved! Your lotus feet are so soft that we place them gently on our breasts, fearing that Your feet will be hurt. Our life rests only in You. Our minds, therefore, are filled with anxiety that Your tender feet might be wounded by pebbles as You roam about on the forest path."
    
    
74. “In the endless darkness of that pain, the breeze of life's breath has no power to move. The oil of love then becomes very great. Fueled by that oil, the lamp of love shines very brightly.
    
    Rasalila story  - What really happened!
    
    
75. Text 75 - “Leaving all others, Krishna enjoyed pastimes with Me in the rasa dance. But then He left Me also. Please hear the truth of this. The greatest offense Vraja's prince, who is an ocean of love, commits against Me is never truly an offense. 
    
    
76. “He placed Me on a lion-throne glistening with gems of peerless good fortune. He decorated Me with many pastimes. Wandering from forest to forest, He enjoyed many pastimes with Me. He did not allow any other gopi beloved to walk on the path of His thoughts. 
    
    
77. “Then in My heart I thought, `My friends cannot taste the shoreless nectar ocean of these pastimes. Instead they burn in the flames of separation from Us two. Why should that be?
    
    
78. “ `If the two of Us stay here for some moments, then My friends, who are frantically searching everywhere, will surely meet Us.' Then I said, `Dearest beloved, I can no longer walk. Let Us rest here.' 
    
    
79. “Because He is crest jewel of the wise, Krishna knew all that was in My heart. Peerlessly wise Krishna, the first of the rasikas, then thought in His heart: 
    
    
80. “ `If I walk in the forest with this girl, then Her heart will be wounded by Her friends' sufferings. How will that bring happiness? If We stay here, then the gopis, their eyebrows raised, will find Us.
    
    
81. “ `In many ways they will rebuke this girl. Then our nectar pastimes will be broken. Angry, they will all go home, and tonight there will be no glorious rasa dance. 
    
    
82.  “ `Curious, Radha had asked Me, `Most beloved, do You have the power to embrace millions and billions of saintly girls in a single moment. I wish to see that. Please fulfill that desire.' 
    
    
83. “ `Leaving Her for a brief moment, I will prove that Radha is humble and blameless. I will place the offense on My own head. I will be in debt to Her. I will make the gopis become very affectionate to Her. 
    
    
84. “ `Showing them the peerless, endless, burning fever Radha feels in separation from Me, I will plunge the gopis into an ocean of wonder. I throw far away the gopis' pide in their own love. I will prove to them that Radha's love is the best. 
    
    
85.  `In enjoying pastimes of love, Radha is the best, and in love-in-separation, Radha is the best millions and billions of times over. These two kinds of love attain their highest purity and inten
    
    
86. “Krishna is lusty. That is why, even though our love is greater, He left us to enjoy with Radha in a secluded place." Angrily speaking these words, the gopis would criticize Us both.
    
    
87. “Therefore I will show the gopis how Radha's love is separation is a flaming volcano of love, a love many millions of times greater than theirs. When they are licked by the flames of that volcano, the gopis will understand that their love is only a series of small lamps in comparison.
    
    
88. “ `Then there will be the harmony I wish. The gopis will form a rasa-dance circle, and when they see Radha in the center with Me, they will not become jealous or angry. 
    
    
89. “ `Desiring only the good, one friend may sometimes put another friend into suffering, suffering that will eventually lead to great happiness. In the same way a physician may apply to the patient's eyes a bitter ointment that will eventually lead to good vision.' 
    
    
90. “Reasoning in this way, Krishna held Me to His chest, carried Me a few steps, set Me down on a soft place, and then suddenly disappeared before Me eyes. 
    
    
91. “Seeing My great distress, Krishna became overwhelmed. But when He came to show Himself to Me, the gopis, burning with pain because of My sufferings, had already come. 
    
    Further in His defense
    
    
92. “Krishna is not at fault for killing Aristasura, Bakasura, Aghasura, and Vatsasura, who are enemies of all the worlds, and for killing the cheater Putana. Actually it is Lord Vishnu's glorious potency, manifested within Krishna's own body, that kills the demons. 
    
    
93. “Krishna extraordinary deeds, like His lifting Govardhana Hill and killing the demons, stand as witnesses to the words Garga Muni said to Vraja's king: `Your son is like Lord Narayana Himself.' 
    
    
94. “Ah! In My heart something more, something the great sage Garga did not say, is manifest. Narayana is not Krishna's equal in handsomeness, sweetness, and transcendental qualities."
    
    Goddess replies to hearing Krishna’s qualities
    How do you know His heart? 
    
    
95.  Hearing His beloved's words, words very delightful to the ear, no doubt, Krishna earnestly said, “I know that You are the shelter of the love You have described. 
    
    
96.  “For You, Your beloved's faults are all virtues. For You, the hundred sufferings Your beloved brings are all like nectar. You cannot tolerate that Your beloved may feel even the smallest particle of a particle of suffering. Even if it means You must leave Your body, You have no power to renounce Your beloved. 
    
    
97. “Even though they don't really exist, You imagine that Your beloved possesses a host of peerless glories. That is the love You feel. O Radha, I have heard about You. Now I see You directly. 
    
    
98. “Krishna does not love You. That is the truth. I know it from His actions. My life-breath, burned by the forest-fire of Your lamentations, loudly declares it. All Your friends bear witness to it. 
    
    
99. “How can We believe these stories You tell about Your beloved's thoughts? You heard them neither from His mouth nor from His friends. Or even if You did, when have They ever told the truth in Their entire lives?"
    
    
100. Then Radha said, “I know all that is in My beloved's heart?"     Then Krishna said, “Radha, did You study the Acyuta-yoga-shastra? Can You enter the bodies and minds of others?" 
     
     
101. Radha said, “You are a goddess. You always want glorious yoga powers. I am only a human girl. Whatever You ask, I can answer completely. But if You won't believe My words, then I waste My time by speaking them." 
     
     
102. Krishna said, “My friend, if Your words were logical and true, why would I not believe them? If You cannot convince Me that Your beloved is an ocean of virtues, then the idea that He loves You is believed only by You." 
     
     
103. Radha said, “First You say, `I do not know the heart of another's beloved.' Then, claiming to walk on the path of direct perception, You hint, `I have the power to enter another person’s heart and body.' You are expert at joking." 
     
     
104. Krishna said, “If You knew Krishna's heart, why were You not happy? Why did You loudly lament?"     Radha said, “Goddess, please be attentive. I will tell the truth. When I cannot see Krishna, a mysterious power breaks my knowledge." 
     
     
105. Krishna said, “That You know His heart I don't dispute. O Radha, does He know Your heart, or not?" Radha said, “Ah! What are You saying? Your words make Me tremble. Listen to this secret. 
     
     
106. Krishna said, “Radha, You make this person tremble with love. That is why I was so bold to ask that question. This person yearns to hear that secret. Please tell it. Don't keep it hidden." 
     
     
107. Radha said, “The people may say of Us, `They always stay in each other's hearts. Therefore They must know what is in each others hearts.' That idea, the idea that We are two, is a misunderstanding, is an artificial imposition, is only a metaphor spoken by poets. We are one. We can never become two.
     
     
108. “We are one person with two bodies. We are like a pair of lotus flowers, one blue and the other yellow, growing from a single lotus stem in a fathomless nectar lake. 
     
     
109. “We are like two flames on the wick of a single oil lamp, flames that light up the darkness, flames that delight the gopi friends at Our sides. 
     
     
110. “If the wind of separation makes those two flames flicker or fall, Our friends quickly come, protect Us, and carry Us to the place of happinesses. 
     
     
111. “Now I have opened the jewelry-chest of My heart and shown You the jewels hidden there. Now Your doubts are broken. Please keep this secret always in Your heart. Never reveal it to others."
     
     Prove you are ONE - Bring Him here
     
     
     
112. Then Krishna said, “Friend, what You say is very logical and very right. I accept it completely. Still, my rascal ferocious heart wants to test Your words. What can I do to stop it?
     
     
113. “At this moment You are here and He is either in His father's house or in the forest protecting the cows. My friend, I do believe that You two are one person. Still, without a test that belief will not become strong. 
     
     
114. “O friend, O girl with the beautiful face, if simply by meditating on Him, You can bring Him here and I can see Him with My own eyes, then I will believe You. 
     
     
115. “If when You meditate, “Please come at once", Your beloved, from far or near, comes here before Our eyes, then I will forever believe that You two are one person. 
     
     
116.  “Even if, in spite of that meditation, You two do not meet because of some obstacle, because of intervention by Your superiors or the demigods, or because of some demon's arrival, then I will not protest. 
     
     
117. “O My friend, O girl with the charming eyes, if, because in Your parents' home You are reluctant to openly call for Him, and You must go far away to meet Him, therefore You will not try to bring Him here, I will understand. 
     
     
118. “O My friend, O beloved of Krishna, just to please Me please meditate on Him now. Then He will come. In this way You will make Us happy. Your superiors will not come here. Please do this and remove the sufferings My doubt has brought." 
     
     
119.  Requested with these words, Radha earnestly and eloquently said, “Please don't make fun of Me if I will not do as You say. If I did, My shy love would torment Me. 
     
     
120.   “O Lord worshiped by the demigods, O object of My worship, O sun of glory and handsomeness, O delight of all eyes in the three worlds, O merciful master who fulfills all My desires, O master of Goddess Lakshmi, O witness of truths, lies, and all else, . . . 
     
     
121. “If the statement, `Radha and Krishna are the same person forever,' is not a lie, then, to please Me, may Krishna come now before My eyes." 
     
     
122. After speaking these words, Radha sat down. Silent, stopping all sense perceptions, and with eyes closed, like a yogini She meditated on Her beloved. 
     
     
123. Suddenly shedding His woman's disguise, and moving His eyebrows as a signal to the gopis who at once recognized Him, Krishna approached His beloved and, abandoning all inhibitions, kissed Her again and again. 
     
     
     
     
     
124. In Her meditation She saw Krishna. Tears flowed from Her eyes. The hairs of Her body stood erect. Then She opened Her eyes and saw Krishna before Her. Her heart was plunged in bliss, and tears washed away Her mascara. She was splendid like a great yogini. 
     
     
125. After some moments Radha became peaceful again. Covering Her face with the edge of Her garment, beautiful-eyed Radha was embarrassed. Then Lalita said to Krishna, “Playful one, how did You come here unseen? It is a great wonder. 
     
     
126. “Only the ladies of the house are allowed in these inner rooms. Even the breeze cannot force its way here. Any fearless man who enters here is the crown of all bold and courageous men. 
     
     
127. “You forcibly touched the limbs of Sri Radha, who by friends like Me is always protected, whose fame and glory are a celestial Ganga that floods all chaste and saintly girls, and who after bathing sat down to worship the sun-god and then closed Her eyes to meditate on him. 
     
     
128. Have You no respect for the sun-god? Do You give no thought to the rules of religion? What are shyness and restraint? You have no idea. 
     
     
129. “Krishna, I now offer prayers glorifying Your good luck, for today neither Radha's ferocious husband nor Her saintly mother-in-law are present in this house. What can we, Radha's weak friends, do to stop You? O best of the debauchees, today You were saved by Your good luck." 
     
     
130. Krishna said, “I did nothing wrong. I was playing in the courtyard of the cow barn. I remembered Radha, and then I was somehow suddenly brought here as if by some demigod." 
     
     
131. Radha said, “Lalita, where is that goddess? Did She see and believe, or did She not?"     Lalita said, “The goddess saw with Her own eyes. Her doubt is gone. She delighted all of us in the house." 
     
     
132. Krishna said, “You said the word `goddess'. Of whom do you speak? Please show this goddess to M3e." When Lalita gave no reply, Krishna said, “Yes. I know. O Lalita, the rascaldom of you girls is now obvious. 
     
     
133. “Did some yogini with mystic powers or some demigoddess flying in outer space come here? Learning mystic powers from Her, will you force uncontrollable Me to come to You, place Me in Your power, and make Me Your slave forever? 
     
     
134. “Perhaps She will give Me a mantra also. O beautiful Radha, please help Me. Take Me to a secluded place, make Me Your eager surrendered disciple, and give Me the mantra." 
     
     
135. Radha said, “Your flute is glorious with many mystic powers. It places many saintly girls in Your lap."     Krishna said, “What happens to Me when You steal My flute? Then the flute will not fulfill My desires." 
     
     
136. Then Lalita said to Krishna, “The shy goddess is hiding in the inner rooms of the house. Hiding, how will She teach You the mantra? If You yearn to learn that mantra, enter the inner rooms. If She is merciful, She will fulfill Your desire." 
     
     
137. Hearing these words, Krishna entered the inner rooms. Then Radha said, “What's going on? My friend, please tell Me." Lalita said, “Don't turn back. Enter. I will also enter. I will watch as Krishna meets Your friend."
     
     
138. With eloquent words Krishna sowed the seed in Radha's heart. With nectar showers of gentle smiles and laughter the gopis watered that seed. That seed quickly grew into a tree of logic that bore a very sweet fruit of understanding the truth of all that had just happened. 
     
     
139. Then Lalita said, “The goddess must have disappeared or else gone away. We will go at once and look for Her. Please teach Krishna the mantra and make Him happy." Then all the gopis quickly left. 
     
     
140. Decorating each other with many pastime-jewels from that jewelry-chest of love, Radha and Krishna defeated many millions of Kamadevas. By hearing, chanting, and remembering these pastimes, and by serving them in many ways, the eager and joyful saintly devotees always defeat Kamadeva's influence. 
     
     
141. In the Shaka year 1606 (1684 in the Western calendar), in the month of Phalguna (February-March), a person nourished by drinking Srila Rupa Gosvami's sweet nectar words found this poem Sri Prema-samputa on the shores of Shyama-kunda and Radha-kunda.

More next time, as I slowly and happily take one step at a time towards Radha and Krishna's Love and pray for the mercy of the vaisnavas without whose mercy I am lost.

Begging to remain the servant of your servants.